When I made a total Ass of Me

Yesterday I made a total ass of myself, but this really should be the last paragraph, so let me start from the beginning.

I do not really like shopping at Tuskys. As a result, I have been accused of several misdemeanors including 'feeling' (note not 'being') too posh, but last week, my witty brother-in-law put it into perspective; Tuskys is full of normal people! At Tuskys, you are unlikely to bump into somebody with green hair or a teenager buying an energy drink on his skates. Admittedly, I am attracted to eccentrics, and no wonder Tuskys does nothing for my excitement gene!

It so happens that the most convenient supermarket on my way home is none other than Tuskys. I could do Nakumatt only 200 metres further, but sometimes I am lazy like that. So yesterday I walked into Tuskys, full of normal people, did my shopping with the normal people, and while at the till waiting for the jamaa at the end of the till to pack my stuff (really, why do they imagine I cannot pack my own stuff? Or is it job creation?) I remembered I needed to go to the open market to buy potatoes et al!

Wearing my sweetest smile, I asked the 'packer' if he could be so kind and put in an extra plastic bag for me. My smile did not obviously melt him as with a stony stare, he informed me that "hatupeani makaratasi ovyo ovyo". My face instantly went hot, and if you are light skinned, you know what a blush does to your skin colour.

I said, "Can I buy it?" Duh! But I didn't know what else to tell him.
"Hatuuzi". Came an answer in form of a growl!
That was when I did something I consider below me (I told you about being accused of feeling too posh). I grabbed a plastic bag and stuffed in my my handbag. I seriously do not know what came over me prior to this action, but I plead temporary insanity. My actions were totally beyond me. But really, with all the shopping I unwillingly do there, and all the 'macoins' I have left there because I refuse to take their Tropicals (how come other supermarkets can get coins? Nkt!), surely one miserable plastic bag will not drive Tuskys under!

Then the stand-off! Of course he dared not enter my handbag to retrieve the miserable piece of plastic, but I could see him weighing options of what I would do if he tried. Good decision not to, I tell ya! Thing was, he was holding on to the shopping I just paid for! All these for one miserable plastic bag! I could bring them all the miserable plastic bags in my house, I don't know what to do with them I cannot recycle them enough! Nkt!

Anyhooo, I held my ground. He held his! Boss came, confirmed that they did not dish out makaratasi ovyo ovyo! Twat! Mumbles (rightfully so) from the customers on queue! Bigger boss comes, confirms the same thing. Idiot! One miserable plastic bag! At this point, I knew I didn't want the plastic bag that much to cause a scene, but it is a matter of principle sometimes.

Sso I didn't give in. As calmly as I could (trying to save whatever dignity, it is a plastic bag remember), I told them I would not be returning the bag, and if they wanted to keep my shopping, sawa! My daughter would just have to go without her Weetabix tomorrow - I was tempted to use my 'I am a journalist' card but I changed my mind!

Tighter rope they were on. Customers were asking 'kwani karatasi ni nini', 'tunachelewa bwana' or 'ile pesa ya sweeti si mnunue karatasi'. The security guard was close by (one of these days I will be on first name basis with security guards) but I suspect he was also wondering what the fuss is all about. They grudgingly gave me my bag, I quiped (in my head of course), said thank you (not meant, of course), walked out with my head held high but still red in the face, and most importantly, a resolve; I am never shopping in Tuskys, any Tuskys! It is full of normal people

I still felt like a total ass!